From Dream to Reality

Since I left my house on September 21, I have been living in quite a blissful dream. Sure there have been culture shocks, hot nights with little sleep, and times I’ve wondered how I was going to do this when it had only been ONE WEEK. But it was all ok. I had fun with the kids, I loved their smiles, they made me laugh, it was so easy to love them, I felt I was exactly where God wanted me, and every day was a good day. This was the dream I was living in.

I still love these kids, we still have fun and laugh together everyday, I still feel this is exactly where God wants me to be. But I am no longer living in a dream. I have awoken to my reality here. Maybe it was the discovery of how challenging it is to control a Nursery class when the teacher leaves the room and all you can tell them in their language is “no” and “sit down”? Maybe it was the kid in class who was crying because I didn’t call on him when he wanted to be called on. Maybe it’s subconscious culture shock. Maybe it’s just a big reality check. Maybe it’s the overwhelming realization of what I’ve gotten myself into. Whatever it is, I am really here now, actually doing “this”. I don’t know what “this” will become in the next 6 months, but I know God will be doing “this” with me.

I’m discovering how hard patience can be when you feel you’re running low. How difficult forgiving and forgetting can get for the same kid over and over again. How wrong it feels to have to “put on” the loving face when other feelings won’t let the real love underneath come out. But despite it all I’m glad I am awake now. I like dreaming, but even better than dreaming is living out your dreams. And what good is a dream if it never becomes reality?